Intermission
by rach0486
Summary: What might have happened on the planet Jack, Sam and Teal'c ended up on between Nemesis and Small Victories.


STARGATE SG-1: Intermission.  
  
Summary: What might have happened on the planet Jack, Sam and Teal'c ended up on between Nemesis and Small Victories.  
  
Category: Humour/General.  
  
Season: 3/4 (change over)  
  
Rating: whatever the show itself is.  
  
Warning: None  
  
Spoilers: Nemesis, Small Victories.  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam (only slightly, nothing huge).  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, blah blah blah. I think we all get the idea!  
  
Author's Note: OK, this one is just a little lite relief from my previous fic. It was a bit depressing! So anyway, did anyone else think that there was way more Jack/Sam action in season four than anywhere else. I swear something had to happen on that planet. This is just a little fic that is my way of dealing with that question. I know that the subject of those 10 or so days has already been gone over several times but I just wanted to put my version of it into the mix. Hope you enjoy it. Please R&R, as always. Cheers.  
  
INTERMISSION  
  
About a dozen Replicators managed to make it through the Stargate from Thor's ship. A couple of them went for Thor's stasis pod while the rest seemed to gravitate to Sam's backpack. Luckily, Jack and Teal'c were there in a clinch. Once Sam was clear of her bag she joined in the carnage. Soon, all the Replicators were reduced to small blocks of metal.  
  
"What the hell is in that bag?" Jack asked, curious for why they went after her and no-one else.  
  
"Probably my Laptop they were after, Sir," she replied opening her pack to make sure it wasn't damaged.  
  
Just then, a blast of fire swept through the portal sending all of them diving for cover. The fire was quickly followed by a sudden wave of very cold and salty water. In mid-wave, the gate disconnected leaving them slightly singed and completely soaked on the alien planet.  
  
"What was that?" Sam said standing to her feet.  
  
"Well, I'm guessing the fire was the ship entering the atmosphere," Jack answered, quite pleased that he knew something Sam didn't. "And the water was the burnt out ship hitting the Pacific."  
  
Sam nodded in recognition. Before any of them had got their breaths back, Thor's pod was whisked out of their sight in a bright flash of light that could only have come from another Asgard vessel.  
  
"Oh great! That's just swell!" Jack shouted at the light disappearing into the sky. "We save your asses and you don't even give us a ride! A simple Thank you isn't that hard you know!"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, I see little reason for you to shout at the sky in this way. I am sure the Asgard can not hear you from this distance," Teal'c pointed out.  
  
Sam was nearly doubled up with laughter at her CO's outburst. Jack glared at Teal'c for a moment.  
  
"Carter!" he said suddenly (without removing his eyes from Teal'c).  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"How long will it take for them to reconnect the gate at the SGC?"  
  
Sam thought for a moment.  
  
"Well?" Jack enquired, finally looking her way.  
  
"Well, I don't know. If it's still in Area 51, then it'll need to be brought across five states and there's the whole -"  
  
"Just how long, approximately, major!"  
  
"About a day or so, I'd say."  
  
Jack thought and processed Sam's calculation before he reached his conclusion.  
  
"Alright then. Since we're stuck here for the time being, we should set up camp not too far from the gate.  
  
"Once that's sorted, we split up and check the surrounding area, just make sure we keep radio contact the whole time. We'll start dialling out first thing tomorrow."  
  
Clear on their course of action, they set about emptying what supplies they had and pulled everything together that would be useful for a shelter.  
  
*  
  
Soon, all three of them were searching through the forests for food or some sort of civilisation. It was harder than they had thought it would be. The trees were incredibly dense.  
  
"OW! Damn it!" Sam exclaimed as she tripped over yet another root and ended up flat on her face yet again.  
  
"Everything alright there Major!" Jack said over the radio.  
  
"Oh yeah. Just fine." There was a little more sarcasm in her voice than she had originally intended. "You got anything yet?"  
  
"Nope. Not even a mushroom."  
  
"I wouldn't trust mushrooms out here anyway. You never know which are poisonous."  
  
"It's an expression, Major! You're getting nearly as bad as Teal'c!"  
  
"To what are you referring, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.  
  
Jack could hear Sam stifling laughter.  
  
"Never mind Teal'c. It doesn't matter anymore," she said before Jack managed to put his foot in his mouth any further.  
  
Jack had been concentrating on their conversation so much that he wasn't watching where he was going.  
  
"OW! Crap!" he cursed. "This is all your fault, you realise, Carter!"  
  
Sam was mortified.  
  
"My fault? MY FAULT! How'd you figure that little gem out then.Sir?"  
  
"Well if you'd followed orders and stayed at the SGC like I told you to, none of us would be stuck here waiting for them to get the new gate up!"  
  
"Yeah, well, if I'd followed orders then right now you'd either be bug meat or medium-to-well-done in the middle of the Pacific! Not to mention what would have happened to Thor. Oh, and there's the small matter of it was my idea on how to get us out of there in the first place, so -"  
  
"ALRIGHT! Point taken. Jeez!"  
  
Jack hadn't been watching where he was going for a while.  
  
"OW! Goddamnit! Whose idea was this anyway?" he cursed.  
  
"I believe you ordered us to search the area for things we can use for either shelter or food, O'Neill," Teal'c answered.  
  
"It makes sense, sir. You are in charge." Sam added just to really get him annoyed.  
  
"Ah, shut up!" Jack said while holding the top of his head. Under his breath he added, "Wise guys."  
  
Sam heard it over the radio and grinned broadly. She nearly forgot to watch where she was going herself. By the time she had stopped grinning, she realised she had nearly walked straight into a very large tree trunk. Luckily she managed to stop herself from making a comment about it that the Colonel would have taunted her about for hours. She brushed the large branch out of her way only to be faced with another one, just as large beyond it. As she continued to fight through the dense mass of trees, she listened to Jack and Teal'c over the radio.  
  
"This is increasingly seeming like a pointless exercise, O'Neill," Teal'c was saying.  
  
"Seeming? I've already gone waaaaaaaaay beyond 'seeming'. In fact, I'm nearly ready to give up, go back to camp and sit and starve until we can go home." Jack replied, still cradling the bump on his head.  
  
"I believe that that course of action will soon become our situation."  
  
"Yeah. If you can call sitting doing nothing a course of action."  
  
Sam couldn't believe how quickly they were giving up.  
  
"You know," she started before a branch hit her in the face and set her back a few paces.  
  
"You alright there, Carter?" Jack asked.  
  
"I'm fine, sir. You know, if this place really doesn't have any consumable resources, we could just dial out somewhere else."  
  
"Why do you have to use all the big words like 'consumable resources' when one word like 'food' would do just as well?!" Jack quipped.  
  
"It's just a settled tendency with me, sir I can't help it," she replied knowing fine well that 'Habit' would have done on its own. She could see him (in her mind's eye) rolling his eyes at her.  
  
"Well, we may just have to dial out again, 'cos this place is not looking good right now." Jack thought for a moment. He really couldn't be bothered to pack everything up again and then move just to go through the same routine all over again. "OK, I'm open for suggestions on this one, guys."  
  
Just as Jack finished speaking, Sam came to a clearing in the trees that she had been fighting through for some time. What she saw there gave her quite a shock.  
  
"Sir," she said over the radio. She didn't bother to wait for his response - she knew he'd be listening. "Do you think a lake would be helpful?"  
  
"What?" Jack was really not following her this time.  
  
"I found a lake!" she said, almost like she was a kid who'd just found a huge pile of sweets.  
  
"Where?"  
  
Jack was also fighting through a thick patch of trees. He managed to free himself from them at last and nearly pushed Sam into the lake she had just found.  
  
"Oh, there!" he said when he had his balance back.  
  
The lake was fairly still, but every so often, there was a disturbance on the surface about ten metres away from the shore.  
  
"FISH!" Jack suddenly said.  
  
"Excuse me, sir?"  
  
"There! Look! There's fish in there!" he reached for the radio again. "Teal'c we don't need to dial out again! We've got fish!"  
  
Sam found it highly amusing how excited he was getting over a few fish but instead of draw attention to it, she turned and began to make her way back to the camp they had made. Jack was close behind her.  
  
*  
  
The night came quickly on that planet and it was cold. There was no tent over head, no sleeping bags and very little in the way of comfortable ground. It was around midnight (earth time) when all three of them were sat huddled round a fire, discussing what to do while they were here.  
  
"First of all we need to establish a rota for someone to watch the gate and dial out, say, every half an hour -"  
  
"I thought you said it wouldn't take that long?" Jack queried Sam's idea (as usual).  
  
"Well yes, but we need to take into account any number of variables that could slow it down. For instance, if there was a hold up in clearance at area 51. Or if the main frame computer lost all the data when it was shut down, then the back up would have to be put in place until it was up and running again. Or -"  
  
"So we get someone to watch the gate. Then what?"  
  
Teal'c spoke up before Sam could continue.  
  
"The other two should patrol the area, O'Neill. It would also seem necessary to construct some sort of device in order to catch some of the fish in the Lake Major Carter found."  
  
Jack thought for a moment. He realised that all both of them had said were fairly obvious and he probably should (and would have, given time) come up with them himself. He blamed the extreme cold, of course, for his lack of brain power at this moment.  
  
"OK. So first thing tomorrow, we dial out. Teal'c, you and I will look around if we can't get home straight away. Carter, you take first watch. Dial every - how ever often you said before. Teal'c'll take over after three hours. Any questions?"  
  
"Yeah, if we find any artefacts, should we take them back as souvenirs for Daniel?"  
  
"Very funny, major!"  
  
*  
  
As expected, the gate was unresponsive when they first dialled out the next morning. Sam was then designated to sit and watch the gate for the next three hours while Teal'c and Jack went exploring.  
  
Teal'c had the second watch. He greeted Sam at the gate just as she was trying for the seventh time to dial home. As the seventh chevron locked in place, the lights flickered and went out once more.  
  
"Damn it! What the hell is taking so long?!" she cursed.  
  
"Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill requires your assistance back at camp," Teal'c announced when here was close enough for her to hear him.  
  
Without a word, Sam turned around and made her way back through the trees to where they had set up the night before.  
  
"No luck yet?" Jack asked when he saw his 2IC coming towards him.  
  
"No."  
  
Jack could sense the frustration in her voice and decided not to pursue the issue any further.  
  
"What do you need help with, sir?" Sam asked, her tone somewhat lightened all of a sudden.  
  
Jack looked around for a moment. He had literally known exactly what he was doing a second ago and now, he hadn't a clue. He searched frantically for what is was. Spotting three long tree branches on the ground he remembered what he was doing.  
  
"Ah!" he said picking one of the branches up. "We need to make fishing rods." He said bluntly.  
  
Sam looked around too. "With what, exactly?"  
  
"Don't know. That's why I need your help."  
  
Sam barely managed to restrain herself from rolling her eyes, not that Jack would have noticed if she had. He was already rooting through the three back packs that had accompanied them through the gate trying to find something that could be used a fish wire, though he had no idea what to use as a hook. He was pleasantly surprised when Sam pulled out two hair pins from her bag and started bending them out of shape.  
  
"What are those for?" he asked quizzically.  
  
"Fish hooks," she answered holding up one of her creations that was indeed the perfect shape.  
  
"Where the hell did you pick that little trick up?"  
  
"MacGyver!"  
  
"Oh please tell me you didn't watch that load of rubbish! Please!"  
  
Sam looked at with, indignity plain all across her face. "It was my favourite programme, thank you very much!"  
  
She only just held back from making comment that just because he hadn't watched any other programme since the Simpsons started, that didn't mean everyone else had to be stuck in the forth grade!  
  
"Whatever," Jack conceded grudgingly as his search for wire continued but to no avail.  
  
*  
  
The next three days were completely uneventful, except for one thing. Jack had eventually given up on trying to find a fish wire alternative and had, instead, resorted to stripping down to his boxers and wading into the lake with his knife attached to a large branch (a retro-fit spear he called it) and tried to catch the fish manually. Sam had several times tried to persuade him that there were much easier ways to catch fish but he wasn't having any of it. 'It adds to the camping out doors experience' he insisted each time she tried to change his mind.  
  
Mind you, she did rather enjoy watching him in action - purely professional, of course! He just had such a knack for making a complete and utter fool of himself with the absolute minimum effort. She hadn't laughed so much for a very long time. He successfully managed to knock the grin off his face one day, though when he threatened to make her come with him next time. To this, Sam had pointed out that it would take a hell of a lot more than an order and empty threats to get her in that lake. It was, to put it mildly, BLOODY FREEZING!!!  
  
Teal'c had taken to sneaking out of the way when he wasn't watching the gate which, naturally made Sam and Jack wonder at what on earth he could be doing. On the forth day they had been there, this mystery revealed itself though.  
  
Jack returned from yet another fishing expedition to find Teal'c Sat at the camp with the fire roaring away. He was crossed legged on the ground with his eyes closed and his hands placed ceremoniously on his knees - clearly in a state of Kel-no-reem. There was nothing in particular that could be said to have been out of place with the scene. That was until Jack took a closer look at Teal'c's face.  
  
There was something different about him somehow, though he couldn't quite place what it was. Teal'c seemed to be as yet unaware of his presence so cautiously - very cautiously - Jack peered closer to see if he could work it out.  
  
It was in doing this that he noticed a thin blonde beard on his chin. Jack was inches away from giving it a gentle tug to see if it was real when Teal'c opened his eyes and took hold of Jack by his neck. He stood up, still keeping his grip on the Colonel. Seeing the air quickly ebbing out of Jack's lungs, he let him go, causing Jack to fall, rather ungracefully to the floor.  
  
"What the hell was that for?!" Jack asked when he finally got his breath back.  
  
"I was unsure whether you were friend or foe, O'Neill. I apologise," he replied, keeping his stance looking as if he were about to pounce yet again. "Though I am curious as to what you were doing."  
  
"I was trying to work out what that thing was on your chin!"  
  
Teal'c defensively ran his hand across his beard and shot Jack a menacing look of disapproval and aggravation.  
  
"It is none of your concern!" he snapped. "I would appreciate it if you remembered that!"  
  
Jack was completely aghast at the Jaffa. It wasn't as if he was trying to attack the man! He watched as Teal'c made his way to relieve Sam of her watch. It wasn't long before he recognised her footsteps approaching.  
  
"Is Teal'c alright?" she enquired when he was within earshot.  
  
"Not a clue," Jack replied. "He's all uptight about some new beard thing."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed that. D'you think it's some sort of Jaffa rite thing?"  
  
Jack shrugged. Her guess was as good as his.  
  
"Still no reply?" he asked changing the subject quickly to their return trip that seemed to be taking longer to sort than any of them had anticipated.  
  
"Nope," she replied plainly. She sat down on a lump of wood by the blazing fire.  
  
"So much for your day or so estimate, eh?"  
  
Sam sat up straight and creased her eyebrows, looking like she had taken offence to his statement. "Well I could have done it in a day!" she said defensively.  
  
Jack smiled affectionately at her. "Trust me to get stuck with the smart ass!"  
  
"Yeah well, they'd better get a move on, whatever they're doing at home. I'm getting bored of fish of the day. Not to mention my hands getting cramp from dialling the same seven chevrons every half hour!"  
  
Jack nodded in agreement and thought seriously about their situation. He too was fairly sick of fish and the climate of this place certainly left something to be desired. It was cold, miserable, grey and damp - not unlike England really which wasn't much of a help to them but still, it made him feel a little closer to home. He heard the DHD fail to lock onto Earth yet again and instantly felt as fed up of this place as she was. But serious thoughts didn't suit him for long. Soon, his sarcasm returned to him.  
  
"Yeah," he said lazily. He hitched his thumb in the general direction of the gate. "You'd think they'd have put a speed dial system into those things wouldn't you?"  
  
Sam just laughed.  
  
*  
  
Four days later, they were still there and tempers were fraying. None more so than Jack's every time Teal'c made some comment about his new pride and joy. There was an up side to the last few days though. Sam had managed to find some string in her bag that could be used as fish wire, though it wasn't quite as discrete as the real thing. With this new development, they caught twice as many fish and Sam actually agreed to help Jack with the fishing, though sometimes she regretted this action when he would go ranting on about his cabin in Minnesota.  
  
"You know, that lake in Minnesota isn't much different from this one. You really should come fishing with me some time," he said to her for the umpteenth time that day.  
  
"Yes sir," she dismissed again. "Didn't you say that you've never actually caught anything there before?"  
  
Jack glanced at her but didn't comment on her put down. This wasn't because he couldn't think of anything to say in return, but he was acutely aware of a sudden shift in the ground they were sat on to catch the most fish. Sam seemed to be unaware of the shift. This fact was confirmed by her ear piercing scream as the natural jetty beneath her collapsed into the lake, taking her with it.  
  
Even more surprising was Jack's reaction. Instead of laughing his head off as Sam would have expected, he frantically searched for a large branch to pull her out with. The fact that he was already holding didn't seem to occur to him for some time. Eventually, though, he had her safely back on solid ground. He draped his jacket across her frozen shoulders as he guided her back to base camp to dry off. Once she was sat down, he noticed her lips were turning a rather nice shade of purpley blue. She was shaking more violently now than she had done when stuck on Antarctica. Without thinking, he began pulling her soaked clothes off her and covered her, instead, with as many dry items he could find. The fire was soon blazing and she huddled by it to fully regain her body heat.  
  
She was eternally grateful when Jack came behind her and pulled her close to him to absorb some of his own heat. Before long, she felt good as new. Not that told him that, she was quite enjoying their close proximity.  
  
"You feeling any better?" he asked.  
  
Sam shivered, not from cold, but from the sensation of feeling each of his words brush past her cheek.  
  
"A little," she answered, inwardly smiling. She had forgotten just how caring her Colonel could be when the time presented itself.  
  
Instinctively, she let her head fall back onto his shoulder and was pleased no end when she felt his cheek rest against hers. The two of them just sat and stared into the fire for a while.  
  
Jack was first to move. He just tilted his head to one side slightly so he could see into her eyes properly. His gaze flicked momentarily to her lips and then back to her eyes. He felt her raise her hand to his shoulder as he began to close the small gap between them even more. They were mere centimetres from each other when a soft tapping sound beside them caught their attention.  
  
It was only a very quiet sound that usually would have gone unchecked. But it was just so familiar to them both that they couldn't let it go. They were seconds away from searching the area when a single replicator dropped in front of them. Instantly, Jack was on his guard. He jumped away from Sam, grabbed his gun and opened fire on the mechanical bug. It disintegrated into its individual blocks but Jack was still on edge. He searched the whole of the camp for more of the bugs but all he found was dormant blokes.  
  
"How did we miss that one?" he asked quickly.  
  
"We didn't, sir, it must have re-gathered itself on its own."  
  
Jack paused for a moment and thought about what she was saying. "They can do that?"  
  
"Apparently."  
  
He eyed a pile of the dormant blocks warily before opening fire on them, just in case.  
  
Sam rolled her eyes and came to stand behind him. "I don't think they're gonna be a problem, sir!" she shouted over the sound of his gun.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
Sam nodded.  
  
He lowered his gun, still slightly unsure as to trust her or his instincts. But the look on Sam's face reassured him. She had the 'I'm right and I know it' look on her face, one he was quite familiar with as she was always, invariably, right! He smiled at her and she smiled back, slightly nervously. She pulled his jacket tightly around her, aware of what she wasn't wearing underneath it.  
  
At this gesture, the memory of their situation filtered its way back into Jack's mind. He was mortified to think that he had been that close to throwing the regulation book out of the proverbial window. Then two things struck him. Firstly, they were way off world, so in all honesty, who was going to either find out or care. Secondly, he realised that he wasn't really mortified. If anything, he was frustrated that they hadn't gone through with it. Damn bugs! It was this thought that brought a dry cough to his throat. He looked away from her, slightly sheepishly and it seemed she reciprocated the sentiment. What really got to him was whether or not it was for the same reason!  
  
"Well, err . I guess I should go tell Teal'c his shift is over," she said awkwardly.  
  
"R-right. I'll, erm, carry on fishing."  
  
He watched her retreating form heading towards the gate and had to practically shake himself out of the trance he found he was in while watching her. Finally resolved to put the incident from his mind, he picked up his fishing gear and headed off in the opposite direction.  
  
Sam turned round just as he walked off. Had that just happened? She thought to herself as she watched his back disappear in to the trees. She had been seriously close to kissing him and hadn't done a thing to stop it. Strangely enough, it was only now that alarm bells were going off in her head about regulations. She hadn't given them a second thought (or a first thought for that matter) at the time. She had just wanted him. Still did. Had done for some time if she was honest. That was the closest they had come to doing anything before and it was as close as she was going to let them come for now. Not that that was what she really wanted. But it had to be that way. She would just have to put him from her mind. Oh well, three hours watching an oversized metal ring should give her a head start on that.  
  
*  
  
Sam was bored. Really bored. She had just about had enough with sitting on her ass all day and relaxing. In fact, she hadn't felt tenser in quite some time. Give her a Naquadah reactor over this any day. She glanced down at her watch and was enraged to find that she still had two and a half hours before she was needed to guard the gate. Not that anything would come through. And she was rapidly giving up on the SGC's capability to set up a gate without her, that or they just didn't care whether SG1 got back safely. She hoped it was just the former. But still, it was getting ridiculous! It had already been ten days since they got there. What the hell could take this long to sort out?!  
  
She soon realised that there was no way she could work that answer out without actually being there and tried to turn her mind to something else. She had decided that after the event of her last fishing trip, she wouldn't be going again. A repeat performance may have been desired (by both parties - not that she knew that) but certainly wouldn't have helped their situation here and really wouldn't have been good for when (or if) they got home. She resorted to pacing round the base camp in the hopes that moving would stop her brain from shutting down entirely. Her eyes scanned the tree line for any movement. It wasn't that she was expecting to see anything there; it was just a habit of the Colonel's that had rubbed off on her. She instantly stopped when she thought of it like that. Now wasn't the time to be getting libidinous. Especially over her CO!  
  
She sat down next to her bag and mercifully, she found what would occupy her mind. She remembered that she had brought her laptop with her, just in case it was needed on Thor's ship. Now seemed as good a time as any to try to start writing her book on Astrophysics. It wasn't as if she was going anywhere soon and she knew she'd never start it when she got home. She'd be down the other scientists' throats about why they were there for so long!  
  
She had been typing for about half an hour when Jack came striding back from a morning of fishing.  
  
"You know what?" he said jovially. "I think I've caught more here today than I have the last four years in Minnes -"  
  
He stopped in his tracks when he saw Sam hard at work.  
  
"Major. What is that?"  
  
"What is what sir?" she asked innocently, not taking her eyes of the screen.  
  
"That!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"That grey box on your knee," he said waving his knife at her laptop.  
  
"It's a laptop," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"I can see that," Jack replied through slightly clenched teeth.  
  
Sam forgot their military ranks for a second. "So why d'you ask?" she said haughtily.  
  
Jack paused for emphasis and placed his catch on the ground before he continued.  
  
"Carter," he said quietly. "When I caught you trying to make sure the DHD was working properly yesterday, I gave you an order. What part of that order did you not understand?"  
  
Sam still didn't stop typing. "You gave me lots of orders yesterday sir. Which one in particular are would this one be?" She knew exactly what he was talking about but wanted him to back down so she could keep working.  
  
"The one were I strictly told you to relax!" he replied.  
  
Sam shrugged and kept working. There was no way she was letting her mind go to rot just because he didn't want her working.  
  
Jack sensed she was being difficult and worked to find another way to win.  
  
"Why is it here?" he asked, in the same friendly tone.  
  
"Because I bought it, sir."  
  
Yep. Definitely being difficult.  
  
"Why?" he said calmly.  
  
"So I could work."  
  
"Carter, what order did I just repeat?!"  
  
"You're not gonna leave me alone on this one are you?"  
  
Jack grinned. "Ya sure you betcha!" he said like a kid. "Nope," he added for extra clarity. Grudgingly, she put the laptop down and crossed her arms across her chest in the hopes that he would see how miserable he was making her and let her continue.  
  
"Good," he said, back in his jovial state of mind. "Glad we're clear on that."  
  
He turned his back to start gutting the fish and preparing them for lunch. As he went about this task, he could see her, in his peripheral vision, pick the laptop again and try to start working again.  
  
"Don't make me break that thing!" he said waving his knife at her once more.  
  
This time, Sam really sulked. She hated being out ranked. The sooner she was promoted again, the better. Sick of doing nothing, she got up and started to clear the base camp that was rapidly looking worse than the Colonel's house!  
  
"What are you doing?" Jack asked after watching her for about ten minutes.  
  
"I'm tidying up," she stated plainly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because this place looks worse than my brother's old bachelor pad!"  
  
"So what?"  
  
"So," Sam stressed, "someone needs to keep things in order round here!"  
  
"WHY?!"  
  
"Look sir," she said, trying not to be too disrespectful. "If we leave all this stuff lying around like this - covered in USAF identification, I may add. Then what impression of earth is that gonna give to the next travellers who come through this way?!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Sam was just about to launch yet another explanation when Teal'c came over the radio.  
  
"O'Neill!" he said excitedly (for him at least). "The Stargate has activated!"  
  
For a moment, neither Jack nor Sam moved. They couldn't quite believe that they could finally be going home. As the news fully sunk in, they both raced to the gate and sure enough, the blue event horizon was in place and ready to send them home.  
  
*  
  
"It's about time!" Jack called to the control room when he hit ramp.  
  
"We've been dialling home for over a week!" Sam pointed out to emphasise Jack's statement.  
  
Daniel, stood at the bottom of the ramp, smiled at his team mates as they approached. "Nice to see you guys too!" he jested.  
  
As they reached the bottom, Jack looked around the room for a second. "Where's the fan fair general?" he said.  
  
"We did kind of save the planet, sir," Sam added for clarification.  
  
"Again! This should not get old general!"  
  
Hammond smiled. "Job well done, folks."  
  
Jack cocked his head slightly to one side and with a slight glint of irreverence in his eyes said, "Thank you sir. It was nothing."  
  
Sam just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Where's Thor?" Daniel asked, surprised to only see the four of them return.  
  
"Ah, they beamed him up when we arrived," Jack answered remembering his own reaction to that fact.  
  
"And they didn't help you?!" Hammond voiced. Jack at least had one sympathiser.  
  
"We were fine, sir," Sam replied before Jack could go off on a rant on the matter.  
  
The two of them glanced at each other as the memory of their incident and just how 'fine' they nearly were sprang to mind. Smiling, Sam looked to the floor before his gaze made her blush. The rest of those gathered seemed to have missed this exchange as they were concentrating on looking at Teal'c.  
  
"You've got a, eh," Daniel said pointing out the newly appeared beard.  
  
"Ah!" Jack intercepted. "Don't touch!"  
  
Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Jack, who gave Daniel a warning look before changing the subject.  
  
"Well, I'd love to debrief you all on it after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower," he said, aware of a distinctive fish smell on. Not surprising, really.  
  
"Go ahead," Hammond said with a smile. "In fact, I insist on it."  
  
Jack looked to Daniel. "Bad?"  
  
"I wasn't going to say anything!" he said trying not to smile too much.  
  
Jack, Sam and Teal'c made their way out of the gate room, all glad to be home at last.  
  
*  
  
A/N: Please ,please, PLEASE check out fictionpress! I've put my original story up (Spider trap) and would love to know what everyone thinks of it. Cheers. Have a nice day now! 


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